“Be thankful for what you have, you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on you don’t have, you’ll never, ever have enough”
It’s been a very long time since I wrote for the blog and per usual some crazy shit has happened that caused me to write again. I’m not upset about the situation, all I want is peace. I don’t want to bring any unnecessary drama or ill feelings to 2019. Despite the situation, I will continue to strive for my goals and dreams.
“Positivity brings about a peace of mind which in turn relaxes your whole being”
2018 has brought so many ups and downs as well as life lessons. I learned how strong I can be as a person and as a mother. Despite how bad I’m ending the year, I will prevail in 2019.
Here is a preview of some of my goals for 2019:
- Single Parent Adventures
- Complete my book “Broke with a baby”
- Live fearlessly and unapologetically
- Becoming a kick-ass parent
With all that being said, let’s get it in 2019
It’s crazy how life works. My entire delivery was surprising and unexpected. I left work expecting an easy routine check up on my baby. Apparently, God has other plans that day. Since my due date was around the corner, well the following month to be exact, the doctor was doing movement tests on my son. I struggled with this test previously but today my son barely showed any movement. I didn’t think much of it at first because I assumed my son would start moving. After being tested by two different doctors, I was told to head to labor and delivery. The only thing on my mind was “When am I going to eat?” because I was starving. I didn’t hit me until I was actually in the delivery room filling out paperwork. My group text messages from work were every off the chain.
I couldn’t believe it was happening….
“There are no secrets to success. It is a result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure”
– Colin Powell
First off, I just wanna say I love my son with all my heart. He is the center of my world and I enjoy watching him grow up in front of my eyes. I love him so much that I want him to have the best life has to offer. In order for him to have the best, it starts with me. He pays attention to everything I am doing, whether he knows it or not. He craves love and attention from me; that’s what I strive for everyday. Our lives are a little bit difficult now that I am unemployed but I know I’ll get back on my feet soon. In order for me to do that, I have to face one of my BIGGEST weaknesses…CONSISTENCY!!!.
During my job hunting, I have had a lot of time to think. I think about different moments during my life, whether it be jobs or interactions with people. A lot of negative and toxic people are from my life and I am grateful to God for that. I do get distracted from my goals quite easily and that plays into my inconsistency issues. I hate that my son has to witness this; he doesn’t understand it yet. When he gets older, he will mimic my habits for the obvious fact that I am his primary parent.
I don’t the best way to overcome this and I would like some advice.
If you have any suggestions, please feel free to let me know!!
An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. –Benjamin Franklin
I appreciate you for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my posts. I am not writing my post for any sympathy but understanding.
Being a parent is rewarding but also challenging. There is new information I am learning regarding my finances. Growing up, I was not taught how to budget or the importance of credit. I do admit that I have made mistakes with my money and it is hard to dig yourself out of a hole.
I am determined to get myself more financially stable very soon. I hate to make excuses for my situation because there really isn’t one. For a single parent, time is not always on your side. I come home from work exhausted every single day and I barely have energy to do anything important.
I have to stop the cycle IMMEDIATELY. I am determined to make a positive future for my son and I. I will not quit and neither should you!!
That’s all I wanted to say. Have a wonderful day and know that I believe in you!
If I could predict the future, my life might not have as much meaning as it does now. Growing up, I really didn’t have much to worry about. Life seemed so much simpler than my actual reality. There is so much I wish I could’ve done differently if I knew better or learned it early on.
I say this because I don’t want my child to make the same mistakes I did. I have been learning and researching the knowledge I missed out on just so I can teach my son.
Right now, he is fast asleep. As I watch him sleep, he looks so innocent. He doesn’t understand the world is changing right before his eyes. As generations grow up, the struggle grows stronger. I don’t know if I can invest in my sons future. I am barely making it now, I can’t imagine what could happen when he gets ready for college.
I am trying to teach myself extreme discipline with limited resources. The ability to better yourself is a conscious and time consuming task. Discipline and consistency are two things I don’t excel in and I’m finding that out the hard way.
I know I’ll get better over time and maybe then I’ll be less overwhelmed. I just want the best for my son, that’s all I’ll ever need to be feel decent in my situation.
“If you are ever unsure of the choices in life or scared of the future, look to me & I’ll help you” – God
I am sorry I haven’t posted a couple of days but I am not myself at the moment. This feeling is mostly coming from a situation at work. I was given a temporary position in an new department of my company and now this position is ending next week. I know some of you might be thinking “How is that depressing”. My old position was a piece of shit and I despised it with all soul. The thing is that this temporary position gave me peace of mind, if you can see it that way. I don’t mind a customer service position but sometimes your customers can push you over the edge. I enjoyed my time and it had plenty of benefits I liked.
Besides this situation at work, what sparked my depression was my thoughts on the future. I never wanted to be in a position where I worked long hours with no time for myself or my child. I often feel a corporate work environment is not for me. I do consider myself a free spirit who doesn’t want to be controlled by anyone. I’ve always wanted to work in an environment where I could do my own thing and still get paid. I don’t want to live a normal lifestyle and be like everyone else. I have always felt like I was set aside to be different and stand out. I have a lot of goals I would love to accomplish this year and I am determined to get them done.
One of my goals was actually to start a blog. I have always wanted to start one and once I got over my fear, this site was established. I want to gain more consistency and I know this will help out.
If anyone is willing, I would love for someone to comment on how you deal with depression or when you feel inadequate. What are some things you do to lift your spirits?